Issue 009: You already know what you need to do!
You already know what you need to do!
There is a line from a Sturgil Simpson song that reminds me of myself. “I’ve been spending every night on the internet. Looking for a clue but ain’t found one yet…”.
I’m sure that’s the status quo for a lot of men.
Trying to find the next quick fix.
The next best optimized plan.
The next best tool.
The clue that will finally unlock them.
But in reality. We’re not lacking information. We’re lacking clarity.
Because if we’re honest… you already know what you need to do.
You know the habits that are stealing your energy.
You know the excuses you keep feeding because they feel safe.
You know the things you’re avoiding because they’re uncomfortable.
And you know the cost of staying the same.
No one is coming to save you.
Not your spouse. Not your boss. Not your future “more motivated” self.
If you don’t put in the work, you’ll eventually hit a moment where it’s too late to pretend you didn’t know.
My “I already know” list
Here’s what mine looks like right now:
Get serious about removing alcohol from my life.
Eat like my life depends on it. Because it does.
Cure my phone addiction (especially short-form content).
Stop consuming politics.
Go to bed on time. Wake up on time.
Fix my teeth. Start taking care of my skin.
Get serious about confidence—stop letting anxiety and discomfort run my decisions.
Say no to social obligations that drain me.
Give up non-essential projects and pursue excellence in what actually matters.
Schedule real time with my kids—and teach them healthier habits by living them.
Schedule real time with my wife.
Stop being a victim.
No fluff. No philosophy. Just the truth.
But here’s the tricky part: it’s not usually one big failure that wrecks a year.
It’s the slow drift.
The extra drink “just tonight.”
The scrolling that becomes your default.
The missed workouts that become your identity.
The marriage that turns into logistics.
The kids who grow up while you were “busy.”
So here’s the exercise that cuts through the BS and shows you exactly how your year gets derailed:
The Pre-Mortem (10 minutes)
Pretend it’s one year from today.
Your goals didn’t happen. You’re heavier, more anxious, less confident, less connected—quietly disappointed and trying not to think about it.
Now answer this:
What killed your progress?
Write 10 reasons. Fast. Honest. No editing.
Examples (use these if you need a jump start):
“I kept alcohol in my life and it kept me tired, anxious, and impulsive.”
“I never fixed my sleep, so everything stayed hard.”
“I let my phone steal my attention and called it ‘downtime.’”
“I avoided discomfort and stayed ‘fine’ instead of getting better.”
“I said yes to too much and protected nothing.”
“I kept consuming politics and drama and wondered why I felt angry.”
“I didn’t schedule time with the people I love—so it never happened.”
The step that makes it work
For each reason, write one guardrail that prevents it.
Not a goal. A rule. Something concrete.
Derailer: “Alcohol at home.” → Guardrail: “No alcohol in the house.”
Derailer: “Scroll at night.” → Guardrail: “Phone charges in the kitchen at 8:30.”
Derailer: “No time with kids.” → Guardrail: “Two 1:1 blocks per week on the calendar.”
Derailer: “Avoiding the dentist.” → Guardrail: “Appointment booked this week.”
Derailer: “Too many projects.” → Guardrail: “One main mission this quarter. Everything else is ‘later.’”
That’s the whole point: don’t wait to feel motivated. Design your life so the default behavior wins.
The truth most people don’t want to hear
Your downfall won’t be a surprise.
It’ll be a pattern you could’ve predicted.
A set of choices you negotiated with… until the negotiations became your life.
So if this email hits a nerve, good.
Write the list. Do the Pre-Mortem. Build the guardrails.
Then pick one thing and prove you’re serious today:
Pour it out.
Delete it.
Schedule it.
Say no.
Go to bed on time.
You already know what you need to do.
Now do it.
Journal prompt (optional closer):
If you stopped negotiating with yourself for the next 30 days… what would change first?
More soon,
T.A.M.
